Friday, April 30, 2010 @ 11:05 AM
sorry, sorry, sorry
Fairytales lie.
There is no such thing as a "... happily ever after".
The word "sorry", when repeated, solves absolutely nothing.
And there is no true equality in this world.
During the four days in which KingRabbit and I have been together, we have constantly fought...
it seems that during our break, we were doing opposite things to each other.
While he tried to fix our relationship, I did nothing but make it worse.
A moment of spite, fun and selfishness has caused nothing but pain.
What's worse, is that anyone that looked up to me before, if they found out about my petty revenge, probably won't even look at me the same.
Because it wasn't a mistake... It was planned out.
During our break, he reached some sort of closure with her, but I never did.
I refused to talk or even look at her.
Everyone kept asking me, if I could forgive one, why not the other?
Even KingRabbit himself, said the blame was mostly on his part.
But why should I be fair? This wasn't fair on me.
It takes two people to cheat, and it doesn't matter whose fault it was, it still hurt like hell.
And while KingRabbit has tried countless times to make it up to me, she hasn't done jacksh*t.
So, to be fair, to be equal, I gave her an opportunity to talk, to explain.
And guess what?
I don't think she even wants it.
In light of last nights events, I find that revenge, as cliched as this sounds, solves absolutely nothing. In fact, it has probably made me feel worse, now, in addition to heartbreak, there is a guilt gnawing away at me.
To me, it was harmless fun. To him, it was hurtful and manipulated his guilt.
What have I done?
I'm sorry.
I know "I'm sorry", won't do much now.
But I am.
And I'll do everything in my power to fix/solve/ make this problem disappear.
But for now,
sit tight, KingRabbit,
and know that I love you.
