I hope you know what you're doing.


Fairytales lie.
There is no such thing as a "... happily ever after".
The word "sorry", when repeated, solves absolutely nothing.
And there is no true equality in this world.

During the four days in which KingRabbit and I have been together, we have constantly fought...
it seems that during our break, we were doing opposite things to each other.
While he tried to fix our relationship, I did nothing but make it worse.
A moment of spite, fun and selfishness has caused nothing but pain.
What's worse, is that anyone that looked up to me before, if they found out about my petty revenge, probably won't even look at me the same.
Because it wasn't a mistake... It was planned out.

During our break, he reached some sort of closure with her, but I never did.
I refused to talk or even look at her.
Everyone kept asking me, if I could forgive one, why not the other?
Even KingRabbit himself, said the blame was mostly on his part.
But why should I be fair? This wasn't fair on me.
It takes two people to cheat, and it doesn't matter whose fault it was, it still hurt like hell.
And while KingRabbit has tried countless times to make it up to me, she hasn't done jacksh*t.
So, to be fair, to be equal, I gave her an opportunity to talk, to explain.
And guess what?
I don't think she even wants it.

In light of last nights events, I find that revenge, as cliched as this sounds, solves absolutely nothing. In fact, it has probably made me feel worse, now, in addition to heartbreak, there is a guilt gnawing away at me.
To me, it was harmless fun. To him, it was hurtful and manipulated his guilt.
What have I done?
I'm sorry.
I know "I'm sorry", won't do much now.
But I am.
And I'll do everything in my power to fix/solve/ make this problem disappear.

But for now,
sit tight, KingRabbit,
and know that I love you.


I am so spiteful.
I know it... aren't all girls?
Recently, I cut my hair short(er) and pierced my tragus... all to spite my KingRabbit...
(he prefers long hair and he wanted to be there for my piercing).

I don't regret the piercing or the hair cut (LIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR) because in the end, they help shape me and who I am.
Well, the piercing does, not so much the hair.. hehe.

Anyway, dear reader...
KingRabbit and I have gotten back, despite all the tears and drama.
It's not to say that everything is back to normal..
But, we both knew this was going to be hard... Your ten months present has basically confirmed my determination to make us work...

You might have to bear with the insecurities for a little while though... it's just a product of the past, the side-effect or probably the result of what has happened.
I'm sorry , but that's me.
Flawed and horribly insecure.
But I will get better, I promise.

I love you.


It's funny what heartbreak can stimulate...
from blogging to loss of appetite.
I've blogged more in the past week than I have in a whole month...
In all honesty, this is the only forum that I can actually express myself fully... without my words or my meaning being diluted or scrutinised by others.

I've also only had one meal a day for the past week... I know it's bad for me,
but everytime I try to swallow something, my throat feels clogged up and I feel the urge to throw up.
Plus I don't even feel hungry half the time.
I promise I'm not anorexic or bulimic.. I'm trying hard to eat small but frequent meals.

KingRabbit:
You don't know how much those words meant to me... after I read it, all my worries disappeared.
Thank you.

On to happier topics, it seems that people are finding love in uni after all :) CEO has found his cake at last.
I've also had my midsemester for chemistry...
I'm so glad I did the practice paper.. hooray for recycled questions !

hopefully next post will be happier than the last three..
til next time, remember that if you're not part of the solution, then you're a precipitate!
(LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL OSAMA♥)

x

P.S. Spot the chemical terms... I'm such a nerd XD


Even now, I'm wondering if a break was a good idea.
I constantly check my phone and when I receive a text or a call, my heart skips a beat...
until I see the caller ID and then it plummets so quickly, I feel like I want to throw up.
At the mention of your name, my throat gets stuck and that feeling like someone is tryng to suffocate me takes hold.. it scares the sh*t out of me.

I guess it comes down to the uncertainty of it all... not knowing whether you're actually thinking of me, not knowing what you do, who you see, who you think of.

People say that in a relationship, there should be trust.
Those people have never been cheated on.
It's so hard to regain trust.. and even then, it's hard to maintain it.
The insecurities consume me so totally, that I become overbearing (and I know it, I hate it but I still do it)

What I'm trying to say is,
I miss you... do you even miss me?


Say it with your actions,
Saying them words to me doesn't mean anything.
I don't want to hear em,
Baby you can keep those three, might as well not even speak

Many different times before,
you were almost out the door..
then you'd say it and I'd forgive everything.
Well i'm sorry to report.. that's not working anymore.
Now i need to see if that's what you really mean.

No more "I'm sorry", "I love you"
I need proof
Baby boy, it's all in what you do (to me)
I love you, if that's true..
baby boy, it's all in what you do.

Say it in your actions,
say it in the way you touch, the things you do for us
I don't want to be mean,
but when it comes to this love,
saying it just aint enough.

* * *

Happy 10 months KingRabbit
Although this should be a happy post,
I can't bring myself to pretend.

Even though I love you, the events of the past week have left such a scar, that it might take weeks, months, years to heal.
I will get stronger and better, but for now, I'm so vulnerable.

At least from this, I learn who my real friends are.
Those that stick with me, despite all my crying and whining.
And i learn about those who betray me.

I really would love to say with certainty that we'll last another 10 months and another and another. But for now, I'd love to spend even just one month with you.

I know relationships are built on trust, and right now I can't trust you fully, but when I begin to heal, maybe our broken trust will too.

Happy ten months... of love, tears and heartbreak.





6 hours of tears, and they still keep coming.
I'm sitting here thinking, wondering why... how.. did it all come to be like this?
You tell me you still love me, but how can i believe you... when you don't call, text, anything.
You're not even fighting to be with me.
You tell me you care about me, and i believe it but i wonder whether you care out of habit or because you love me.
This is driving me crazy.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know if you love me.
I don't know if you're even attracted to me anymore.
I don't know if i can take the risk again.

Last week was a nightmare for me.. watching our relationship fall away slowly, and anything i tried to do didnt seem to have any effect.
Are we really slow dancing in a burning room?

Well you're the only person I've ever shown this blog, and I am willing to say the only person who isn't gona read this.


It is with great embarassment that I admit, I confess that I spent quite a while trying to think of some witty, funny or original name for this blog.
The best I could come up with, was obviously "kass' footprint"
All I could think of was the entry I posted up quite a while back about leaving my mark on this Earth... what better than a footprint?
I mean a footprint in mud can leave a fossil which transcends time.. a memory that never fades.
I also happen to think that "footprint" is a very pretty word, like 'perhaps', 'whisper', 'musical'.
AND YES.. PRETTY WORDS DO EXIST.
In the end, I changed it back to Kass' World HAHAHAHA

Anyway after many fail attempts at an entry, I finally got off my lazy ass (or stayed on it) and typed this.
Uni actually takes a lot out of me..
I need to be so much more organised with my time.

I've been so cranky and out of it lately...
I really need some time off just to go off to like a spa or something to relax.
All this tension is making my shoulders really painful and tight.
Anyway i gotta jet to work..
XD

x

I hope you know what you're doing.


Fairytales lie.
There is no such thing as a "... happily ever after".
The word "sorry", when repeated, solves absolutely nothing.
And there is no true equality in this world.

During the four days in which KingRabbit and I have been together, we have constantly fought...
it seems that during our break, we were doing opposite things to each other.
While he tried to fix our relationship, I did nothing but make it worse.
A moment of spite, fun and selfishness has caused nothing but pain.
What's worse, is that anyone that looked up to me before, if they found out about my petty revenge, probably won't even look at me the same.
Because it wasn't a mistake... It was planned out.

During our break, he reached some sort of closure with her, but I never did.
I refused to talk or even look at her.
Everyone kept asking me, if I could forgive one, why not the other?
Even KingRabbit himself, said the blame was mostly on his part.
But why should I be fair? This wasn't fair on me.
It takes two people to cheat, and it doesn't matter whose fault it was, it still hurt like hell.
And while KingRabbit has tried countless times to make it up to me, she hasn't done jacksh*t.
So, to be fair, to be equal, I gave her an opportunity to talk, to explain.
And guess what?
I don't think she even wants it.

In light of last nights events, I find that revenge, as cliched as this sounds, solves absolutely nothing. In fact, it has probably made me feel worse, now, in addition to heartbreak, there is a guilt gnawing away at me.
To me, it was harmless fun. To him, it was hurtful and manipulated his guilt.
What have I done?
I'm sorry.
I know "I'm sorry", won't do much now.
But I am.
And I'll do everything in my power to fix/solve/ make this problem disappear.

But for now,
sit tight, KingRabbit,
and know that I love you.


I am so spiteful.
I know it... aren't all girls?
Recently, I cut my hair short(er) and pierced my tragus... all to spite my KingRabbit...
(he prefers long hair and he wanted to be there for my piercing).

I don't regret the piercing or the hair cut (LIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR) because in the end, they help shape me and who I am.
Well, the piercing does, not so much the hair.. hehe.

Anyway, dear reader...
KingRabbit and I have gotten back, despite all the tears and drama.
It's not to say that everything is back to normal..
But, we both knew this was going to be hard... Your ten months present has basically confirmed my determination to make us work...

You might have to bear with the insecurities for a little while though... it's just a product of the past, the side-effect or probably the result of what has happened.
I'm sorry , but that's me.
Flawed and horribly insecure.
But I will get better, I promise.

I love you.


It's funny what heartbreak can stimulate...
from blogging to loss of appetite.
I've blogged more in the past week than I have in a whole month...
In all honesty, this is the only forum that I can actually express myself fully... without my words or my meaning being diluted or scrutinised by others.

I've also only had one meal a day for the past week... I know it's bad for me,
but everytime I try to swallow something, my throat feels clogged up and I feel the urge to throw up.
Plus I don't even feel hungry half the time.
I promise I'm not anorexic or bulimic.. I'm trying hard to eat small but frequent meals.

KingRabbit:
You don't know how much those words meant to me... after I read it, all my worries disappeared.
Thank you.

On to happier topics, it seems that people are finding love in uni after all :) CEO has found his cake at last.
I've also had my midsemester for chemistry...
I'm so glad I did the practice paper.. hooray for recycled questions !

hopefully next post will be happier than the last three..
til next time, remember that if you're not part of the solution, then you're a precipitate!
(LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL OSAMA♥)

x

P.S. Spot the chemical terms... I'm such a nerd XD


Even now, I'm wondering if a break was a good idea.
I constantly check my phone and when I receive a text or a call, my heart skips a beat...
until I see the caller ID and then it plummets so quickly, I feel like I want to throw up.
At the mention of your name, my throat gets stuck and that feeling like someone is tryng to suffocate me takes hold.. it scares the sh*t out of me.

I guess it comes down to the uncertainty of it all... not knowing whether you're actually thinking of me, not knowing what you do, who you see, who you think of.

People say that in a relationship, there should be trust.
Those people have never been cheated on.
It's so hard to regain trust.. and even then, it's hard to maintain it.
The insecurities consume me so totally, that I become overbearing (and I know it, I hate it but I still do it)

What I'm trying to say is,
I miss you... do you even miss me?


Say it with your actions,
Saying them words to me doesn't mean anything.
I don't want to hear em,
Baby you can keep those three, might as well not even speak

Many different times before,
you were almost out the door..
then you'd say it and I'd forgive everything.
Well i'm sorry to report.. that's not working anymore.
Now i need to see if that's what you really mean.

No more "I'm sorry", "I love you"
I need proof
Baby boy, it's all in what you do (to me)
I love you, if that's true..
baby boy, it's all in what you do.

Say it in your actions,
say it in the way you touch, the things you do for us
I don't want to be mean,
but when it comes to this love,
saying it just aint enough.

* * *

Happy 10 months KingRabbit
Although this should be a happy post,
I can't bring myself to pretend.

Even though I love you, the events of the past week have left such a scar, that it might take weeks, months, years to heal.
I will get stronger and better, but for now, I'm so vulnerable.

At least from this, I learn who my real friends are.
Those that stick with me, despite all my crying and whining.
And i learn about those who betray me.

I really would love to say with certainty that we'll last another 10 months and another and another. But for now, I'd love to spend even just one month with you.

I know relationships are built on trust, and right now I can't trust you fully, but when I begin to heal, maybe our broken trust will too.

Happy ten months... of love, tears and heartbreak.





6 hours of tears, and they still keep coming.
I'm sitting here thinking, wondering why... how.. did it all come to be like this?
You tell me you still love me, but how can i believe you... when you don't call, text, anything.
You're not even fighting to be with me.
You tell me you care about me, and i believe it but i wonder whether you care out of habit or because you love me.
This is driving me crazy.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know if you love me.
I don't know if you're even attracted to me anymore.
I don't know if i can take the risk again.

Last week was a nightmare for me.. watching our relationship fall away slowly, and anything i tried to do didnt seem to have any effect.
Are we really slow dancing in a burning room?

Well you're the only person I've ever shown this blog, and I am willing to say the only person who isn't gona read this.


It is with great embarassment that I admit, I confess that I spent quite a while trying to think of some witty, funny or original name for this blog.
The best I could come up with, was obviously "kass' footprint"
All I could think of was the entry I posted up quite a while back about leaving my mark on this Earth... what better than a footprint?
I mean a footprint in mud can leave a fossil which transcends time.. a memory that never fades.
I also happen to think that "footprint" is a very pretty word, like 'perhaps', 'whisper', 'musical'.
AND YES.. PRETTY WORDS DO EXIST.
In the end, I changed it back to Kass' World HAHAHAHA

Anyway after many fail attempts at an entry, I finally got off my lazy ass (or stayed on it) and typed this.
Uni actually takes a lot out of me..
I need to be so much more organised with my time.

I've been so cranky and out of it lately...
I really need some time off just to go off to like a spa or something to relax.
All this tension is making my shoulders really painful and tight.
Anyway i gotta jet to work..
XD

x

KASSLEE.♥


♥ the fam
♥ Carly
♥ my girlies
♥ food


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